Do you ever struggle with insecurity? Do you ever want to know just what the future holds and to have a fail-proof plan to navigate the future? I do! I always have, even though the Lord has proven over and over that He is in control and I can trust him. I seem to have been struggling more than usual the last year. From watching Daddy struggle his last few months to his passing and Tom having a major surgery resulting in being out of work for nearly a year, it has been tough. The Lord has been faithful and has taken care of us .. of me. Then, why do I struggle with fear?
I came to the mountains this week to just get away and wrestle through my emotions with the Lord. So … here I sit today by the fire and watching it snow out a big picture window. I have been quiet most of the day and just listened. (I don’t do that very often!) I guess the fear and unknowns of getting older have been what has been causing the fear I have felt. That big 60 is getting closer every year. Tom and I have watched both of our parents struggle and we have had a lot of conversations about what it will be like as we age. We don’t want to be a burden for our children, but know that it is very possible and out of our control.
Here is the verses the Lord has given me today. Isaiah 46:3-4 “Listen to Me, O House of Jacob, and all the remnant of the house of Israel; you who have been borne by Me from birth and have been carried from the womb; EVEN to your old age – I WILL BE THE SAME. And even to your graying years I WILL bear you! I HAVE DONE IT, AND I WILL CARRY YOU, and I will bear you and I will deliver you.” (emphasis is mine) So … can it be any more clear than that?
How could I ever doubt? If I look back just to see what HE has done in my life so far, I should be very confident that I am in good hands the rest of my life … no matter what comes my way. Oh Lord forgive my unbelief! Thank you so much for loving me enough to remind me in the stillness of a mountain cabin. And, oh yeah … Thank you so much for the snow! It is such a treat for this Southern girl. You Lord, Love me so well.