I love Fall!!! It is my favorite season for many reasons. I love the cooler weather and the colorful leaves. I love apple picking, hayrides and pumpkin patches. I love all things pumpkin spice. Most of all, I love the slowing down from all the craziness of summer and re-assessing “life” before barreling into the holiday season. I often find myself traveling down memory lane during the Fall, especially as we approach our wedding anniversary in October.
This year I have found myself more emotional than normal, and to be honest I feel like I am struggling a bit. I don’t mean to complain, just being real. The last couple of years have been really hard on all of us with all the COVID mess and political climate in our country. I think we all have had many unanswered questions and frustrations. It is easy to get discouraged and disillusioned.
In the midst of all of the “craziness” in our world, our personal life has been up ended, as well. Tom was diagnosed with a debilitating disease (Multiple Sclerosis) that we did not see coming at all. There has been a lot of fear and confusion surrounding his condition. It has changed just about everything in our lives. Dreams and plans we had for our senior years are having to be re-thought. Roles and responsibilities are changing. He has had to stop working to focus on taking care of his health, and I retired early from teaching to be able to take care of him. Let’s just say there have been a lot of questions, fears, tears and even anger through this process.
As I have been “re-assessing life,” and wrestling with all of my many emotions I have had a song that has repeatedly encouraged me, lifted me up and just plain “got all up in my business” (to borrow a phrase). Through our lives the LORD has used music to draw us closer to HIM on many occasions. This time it is a really powerful song, There Was Jesus, by Zach Williams and Dolly Parton. I can’t tell you how many times I have played this song on my phone or in the car. I have cried tears, sang to the top of my voice, and clung to the hem of Jesus’ robe as I remembered all of the times the LORD has carried us on this journey. Even though the road that lies before us now seems uncertain and downright scary, I know for a fact that because “there was Jesus” in my past … HE is with me here and as I step into tomorrow. Listen to the song … I hope it speaks to you as much as it does me.